A colourful caterpillar toy on the bed caught my attention the moment she welcomed me in her top floor flat in south Delhi. She was wearing a short grey-  dress with a matching cushioned picachoo shoes.

Her Miss Transqueen India crown stands on top of a wooden almirah in the corner. The pelmet on the wall opposite to it has the trophy. The navy blue steel cupboard has three stickers-- 'I can', 'Believe in yourself' and 'Think big'.

Born as a boy, Nitasha Biswas looks such a pretty woman now! She has long silky hair, soft and chiselled features, big eyes, her hands manicured and nails polished in grey shimmery nail-paint. Biswas, the first winner of Ms Transqueen India 2017, a pan India title, talks to Gunjan Sharma about  her life, love, motherhood and what winning the title means...

Let’s start with your childhood. How was it…  

I am from a conservative, strict Bengali family. My father was a deputy chief vigilance officer and I had many doctors and engineers as relatives. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 11 and it was my father who took care of me like a mother. I have an elder brother, who has always been my biggest strength.

During my school days, I used to bring articles on transgender women to my brother. Many of these articles were on Caroline Cossey, the famous transwoman who also acted in a James bond film. My brother could sense that something was different about the way I felt about me, but he believed it won't last long.

When did you decide that you would undergo a sex change surgery?

I always thought of myself as a woman. It was like I was in the wrong body, but I knew doctors can take care of that. I didn’t want to bother my father too much with it so I told my brother that I want to go away from home for further education. After completing my masters, I took admission at FDDI, Noida, where I did a course in fashion management.

As soon as I came to Noida, I consulted a doctor. I underwent a psychological test for six months and then started taking hormone replacement  therapy. I also underwent a preliminary sex reassignment surgery in April 2017 and a breast augmentation surgery last month.

Was it a difficult decision?

I knew I had to do it and wanted to keep my family in the loop. My father was against it initially, but eventually I made him understand how important this transformation was for me.

The first one-and-a-half years after I started my hormone therapy were tough. That was the time when I had both male and female features. It was difficult to look into the mirror. I withdrew from the social media.

But then slowly things started falling into place.

What is this psychological counselling all about? Why is it important?

Psychological counselling, I believe, is the most important aspect of the treatment. It is to evaluate a person’s self-confidence and will-power. During this, my psychologist gave me a lot of tasks such as cross-dressing and going out in public. Those tasks help you overcome all inhibitions, you become objective and realistic in your expectations. The doctors also want to be sure if the patient is a right candidate for a sex- reassignment surgery.

See, it is all about mind. As I told you I always felt a woman inside. I underwent the therapy to augment that feeling and to let the world know that I am a woman.

What about marriage and motherhood?

Marriage would be like a dream come true, but I am not sure if it is happening in the near future. But definitely I am going to adopt a girl child. I would want to give my daughter all that love, respect that I feel a girl deserves. I would like to hold her hand and take her out for shopping, I would like to have fun with her. She will complete me as a woman.  

I remember my mother. She was tall and beautiful. She used to wear a big bindi and classy sarees. Though I couldn't spend much time with her as she was unwell most of the time, I remember she was very giving in nature. I want to be like her.

How has the Miss Transqueen India 2017 competition pageant changed you?

Early this year I came across an advertisement about it. I applied for it, and was called for the auditions.

Of course, the biggest day of my life is 27 Aug 2017, when I won the pageant. My life took a 360 degree turn. I was introduced to a whole new world of respect and acceptance. A lot of people had left me to fend for myself during my struggling phase. Being a transgender is a taboo in our society. But I fought all odds. And all these people who had left me came back to me in the next three days of my winning the pageant. I got 10,000 messages on my Facebook from my school and college friends, my cousins...

What’s next?

A lot (chuckles). I am preparing for the Miss World Transqueen, which is to be held in March 2018. I have a lot of responsibility. I want to work in two sectors—education and employment for women, including transwomen. Employment opens up new avenues. One can live with dignity.

I want to join Bollywood and politics, and I have strong reasons for that. Bollywood because I want to spread the message that a transwoman is a complete woman. For example, there is a television serial ‘Shakti’ which is about the life of a transwoman. The protognist is played by a woman. I feel had it been played by  a transoman, its impact would have been even more.

Politics, because I feel we need representative from transgender community right there in our Parliament to take up the issues related to health, education, employment, acceptance and rights of this community.

You have a book coming up on your life ...

Yes, it is in the process. It is called Nitasha: the voice of many. It is a biography. It is written by Alka Vasudeva.

What is your message to the transgender community?

All transwomen, who want to undergo surgeries, should lead a healthy life. Since I don’t smoke or drink, it helped me recover faster from surgeries. I responded better to the therapies. It is because I take care of my health, I didn’t need any face surgery. My skin looks good and the transition was smoother.

What is your day like?

Right now, since I am preparing for the international pageant, I am busy. I wake up in the morning and go to the gym for 2-3 hours. I come back and do my dance rehearsals. I am learning basic bhartanatyam and some Bollywood dance sequences.

Then I do my yoga. I read, surf internet and sleep.

I am particular about my diet. A glass of warm water and lemon is important in the morning. I take a good lunch and dinner is early and light. I mostly cook myself.